9 Common Mistakes Authors Make When Writing Male Characters 2025

Understanding the Challenge of Writing Male Characters

Authors, particularly female writers, sometimes struggle to create authentic male characters. The difficulty stems not from lack of creativity, but from approaching male characterization through specific filters that can distort how these characters appear on the page.

These mistakes often manifest as either idealized projections of what readers might want in male characters, or as one-dimensional stereotypes that fail to capture the complexity of real men. While male authors face similar challenges when writing female characters, the patterns of error differ in revealing ways.

The following nine mistakes represent common patterns that appear across various genres, from young adult fiction to romance to literary fiction. Recognizing these pitfalls helps authors craft male characters who feel authentic, nuanced, and genuinely human.

Quick Navigation: The 9 Mistakes

1. Physical Fantasies: Unrealistic descriptions of appearance and physicality
2. Genius-Level Emotional IQ: Perfect sensitivity at all times
3. Sexual Fidelity as Key Morality: Making monogamy the defining trait
4. Only a Romance Option: Male characters without plot purpose
5. Deeply Improbable Contradictions: Hyper-masculine with all feminine soft traits
6. The Stereotype: All traits hyper-masculine without dimension
7. Male Friendships: Projecting female relationship values onto men
8. Mono-Emotions: Characters defined by single emotions like anger or brooding
9. Men in General: Making all minor male characters villains

Mistake #1: Physical Fantasies

The first mistake involves projecting wishful physical descriptions onto male characters. These fantasies manifest in several distinct ways that pull readers out of the story.

Common Physical Fantasy Mistakes

Wishful Smells

Unless a male character works as a lumberjack, he probably does not smell like wood. Teenage characters in young adult books especially do not smell of cedar and leather. The reality? They smell like socks and locker rooms.

Random Physicality

Authors should never write lines like "his shoulders flexed powerfully as he opened the door." Opening a door requires no flexing. Creating random physical events for male characters to display their muscles serves no narrative purpose and breaks immersion.

Ripped with Zero Effort

Unless the male character spends three hours in the gym with a personal trainer and nutritionist, he will not have a body like Thor. Physical development requires dedicated effort and appropriate lifestyle factors.

The Better Approach

Authors should treat male character bodies in a respectful and authentic way, similar to how they wish other authors might treat female bodies. Physical descriptions should serve the story and character, not fulfill reader fantasies.

Real bodies come with imperfections, realistic muscle development requires work, and everyday scents are mundane rather than romantic. Grounding physical descriptions in reality helps male characters feel authentic rather than manufactured.

Mistake #2: Genius-Level Emotional IQ

Not every good man possesses a super-high emotional intelligence quotient. Men frequently say things that get misinterpreted, miss opportunities to speak at crucial moments, and fail to deliver the perfect sensitive comment at exactly the right time.

For example, a wife might stand in front of a mirror preening, and her husband, concentrating on something else, misses the perfect opportunity to say she looks beautiful. These moments happen in real relationships.

❌ Unrealistic Portrayal

If a male character always says the right sensitive things at exactly the right sensitive time, the author is not writing a man. They are writing an idealized projection of a man.

This creates a mannequin for readers to project fantasies onto rather than a genuine human character.

✅ Authentic Portrayal

Male characters should sometimes miss emotional cues, occasionally say the wrong thing, and struggle to articulate feelings.

They can still be good people while displaying realistic emotional intelligence that includes both awareness and occasional blind spots.

The Other Extreme

Authors also face the opposite problem: writing villainous male characters (like the husband who leaves) as having the emotional IQ of a rock. While an emotional spectrum exists, the tendency to write men as either perfectly emotionally intelligent heroes or emotionally stunted villains creates false dichotomies.

Real men exist across the full range of emotional intelligence. Some possess high sensitivity and awareness, others struggle significantly, and most fall somewhere in between depending on the situation and their personal growth.

Mistake #3: Sexual Fidelity as Key Morality

This represents the most controversial mistake on the list. It becomes problematic when every single male hero ends up being laser-focused on their female partner as if no other women exist in the world. Sometimes these characters seem to have no personality trait other than obsession with their romantic interest.

A More Nuanced Approach

Not every heroic male character needs to be written as naturally, crazily, unifocally monogamous. Authors can have male heroes act monogamously while still acknowledging that attraction to other people exists.

It is perfectly valid to create a heroic male character who finds other women attractive but remains true to their spouse or partner. This portrayal feels more authentic than suggesting the hero never notices anyone else exists.

The Parallel with Female Characters

Just as some male writers portray women as though their main value lies in physical beauty, some female writers portray men as though their main value lies in sexual fidelity. Both approaches reduce complex humans to single dimensions.

The Villain Problem

The flip side also holds true. Authors should avoid making every single villainous male character evil because they cheat. Sometimes villains are evil for completely different reasons. Making infidelity the defining characteristic of male antagonists creates a narrow moral framework.

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Mistake #4: Only a Romance Option

Some male characters exist solely as romance options without serving any other purpose in the plot. Authors should ask themselves: does this male character have a role to play other than coupling with the female lead?

The Sexy Greek Statue Test

This parallels the sexy lamp test mentioned in discussions about writing female characters. If a male character can be replaced by a sexy Greek statue throughout the whole story, then he is not a real character.

The male character needs personality, goals, conflicts, and narrative purpose beyond simply existing as a romantic interest. He should drive plot, create complications, or contribute meaningfully to the story structure.

Common in Hallmark-Style Movies

This mistake appears frequently in Hallmark-style movies where the main male lead exists purely to fulfill the relationship fantasy of the female main lead. He has no agency, no personal arc, and no story function beyond being attractive and available.

Mistake #5: Deeply Improbable Contradictions

Some characters display hyper-masculine traits in one area while being entirely feminine and soft in every other aspect. This creates a character who feels like a projection of female fantasies rather than a coherent human being.

Examples of Improbable Contradictions

•The motorcycle mechanic who happens to be the best listener of all time
•The ruthless billionaire CEO who is also the best father, the best chef, and the best lover
•The tattooed bad boy who writes poetry and cries at romantic movies

Genre Considerations

If an author writes romance, they probably want to commit some of these mistakes intentionally. Romance readers expect certain fantasies fulfilled, and delivering an idealized male character serves the genre conventions.

However, authors writing in any other genre should strive to portray male characters as actually human rather than cardboard cutouts of a fantasy. Readers outside the romance genre expect more complex, realistic characterization.

Mistake #6: The Stereotype

While mistake number five involves wild contradictions, mistake number six represents the opposite problem. Some authors create stereotypical men where everything feels hyper-masculine without any dimension or nuance.

The John Wayne Test

Authors worried about falling into stereotypes should apply this simple test: Is there at least one trait about the male character that is not stereotypically masculine?

Something that rounds them out and makes them feel like a real human being? A hobby, a fear, a quirk, a sensitivity that adds dimension beyond the masculine stereotype?

Example: Peeta from The Hunger Games

Peeta works as a baker, which is not stereotypically masculine. This trait rounds out his character and makes him more memorable and authentic. He possesses traditionally masculine qualities but also has dimensions that differentiate him from the standard action hero.

The Warning Signs

If a male character is defined entirely by devotion to work, sports teams, and convertibles, the author probably needs to add some dimension. Real men have interests, vulnerabilities, and characteristics that extend beyond stereotypical masculine pursuits.

Mistake #7: Male Friendships

When female writers portray male friendships, they often project female relationship values onto groups of male characters. The result feels inauthentic to readers familiar with how men actually interact with each other.

How Female Authors Often Write Male Friendships

These relationships end up looking a little more nurturing, a little more supportive, and a little more confidential than how real male friendships typically function. Male friends in these stories constantly compliment each other in ways that feel odd.

One male reader commented to a female author: "Why are your male characters always complimenting each other?" That is not normally how guys relate.

How Male Friendships Actually Work

While these are broad stereotypes, male friendships typically involve more competition and one-upmanship. They include more ribbing and teasing, more physicality like guys hitting each other, and more off-color humor.

Support exists in male friendships, but it manifests differently than in female friendships. Men show care through actions, shared activities, and humor rather than explicit emotional discussions and constant verbal affirmation.

Finding the Balance

Not all male friendships follow these patterns exactly, and individual men have different communication styles. However, authors should avoid writing every male friendship as though it operates by female friendship rules. Research, observation, and beta readers can help calibrate authenticity.

Mistake #8: Mono-Emotions

Many male characters get defined by a single emotion that dominates their entire personality. This reductionism creates flat characters who lack the emotional complexity real humans possess.

The Brooding Character

So many male characters just brood constantly. They brood and brood, and readers wonder: Is there any other aspect of your personality we should know about, or is it just the brooding?

The Angry Character

Other male characters remain constantly filled with rage. Every single negative male character ends up being a domestic abuser, and eventually readers ask: Are there any male characters in fiction who are bad without being domestic abusers?

Important Clarification

Authors absolutely should write domestic abuser male characters when appropriate. These men exist in reality and deserve representation in fiction. The problem emerges when every single male character is always filled with anger and rage.

If every male character in a book displays only one emotion, that represents stereotypical problem writing. Men experience the full range of human emotions: joy, fear, sadness, excitement, contentment, confusion, and more.

Creating Emotional Depth

Real men experience complex, sometimes contradictory emotions. They can be angry about one thing while feeling protective about another. They might brood about past trauma while showing enthusiasm for current projects. Layering emotions creates dimensional characters.

Mistake #9: Men in General

This final point focuses on minor male characters rather than main protagonists. The way authors write the opposite sex often reveals itself not in major characters who receive careful attention, but in minor characters where authors get sloppy.

The Most Common Mistake

Male writers often erase female characters from the background, simply not including many minor female characters at all. Female writers make the opposite mistake: they make all male minor characters into evil characters.

All the background male characters become cheaters, rapists, or spousal abusers. Every minor male character who appears represents a threat or a villain rather than a normal person.

The Scoundrel Syndrome Test

Authors should try this quick test: Do you have at least one male character in your book who is not one of the main characters, who is depicted as a decent human being?

Important Clarifications:

• It cannot be a love interest or part of a love triangle
• It cannot be a gay best friend (often written as fulfilling a female friend role)
• It should be a genuinely minor character who simply exists as a normal, decent person

Why This Matters

When authors populate their fictional worlds only with villainous minor male characters, it creates an unbalanced universe that feels hostile and unrealistic. Most men in real life are neither heroes nor villains. They are ordinary people navigating their lives. Fiction should reflect that reality.

Creating Authentic Male Characters

Understanding these nine mistakes provides a foundation for writing more authentic male characters. The goal is not to create perfectly realistic men in every detail, but to avoid the most common pitfalls that signal to readers that the author does not truly understand male perspectives.

Key Principles for Writing Men

Treat Male Bodies Respectfully

Avoid physical fantasies, unrealistic descriptions, and random displays of masculinity. Describe male bodies as authentically as you would want female bodies described.

Balance Emotional Intelligence

Male characters can be emotionally aware without being perfect. They can be decent men who occasionally miss cues, say the wrong thing, or struggle to articulate feelings.

Create Dimensional Morality

Heroic men can notice other attractive people while remaining faithful. Villainous men can be evil for reasons beyond sexual infidelity. Morality involves more than monogamy.

Give Males Narrative Purpose

Male characters should serve the plot beyond being romance options. They need agency, goals, and story functions that would remain even if romance was removed.

Avoid Extreme Contradictions

Unless writing romance where fantasy fulfillment is expected, avoid creating hyper-masculine men who possess every soft, feminine quality perfectly. Real people are complex but coherent.

Add Non-Stereotypical Traits

Ensure male characters have at least one trait that rounds them out beyond stereotypical masculinity. A hobby, fear, sensitivity, or interest that adds dimension.

Write Authentic Male Friendships

Men show friendship differently than women. Include more competition, ribbing, physicality, and humor. Support exists but manifests through actions rather than constant verbal affirmation.

Create Emotional Complexity

Men experience the full range of human emotions, not just brooding or anger. Layer different feelings and avoid reducing characters to single emotional notes.

Populate with Normal Men

Include minor male characters who are neither heroes nor villains, just decent ordinary people. Not every background man should be a threat.

The Ultimate Goal

These guidelines help authors write male characters who feel genuinely human rather than idealized projections or flat stereotypes. Just as male authors should strive to write authentic female characters, female authors benefit from understanding common pitfalls when portraying men. The result creates richer stories that resonate with all readers.

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9 Common Mistakes Authors Make When Writing Male Characters